Tuesday, November 10, 2009

The Language of Love (by Reese)

As I have yet to get my hands on one of Lizzie's most precious hot-and-heavy romance novels and do a "true and deep" analysis of it, I thought I'd occupy my time by revealing to the hungry eyes of all you readers the pulsing, heaving extent of, um, "descriptive" language used in every inch of the romance novel--even the summaries of books themselves, which don't explicitly refer to sex. Consider this example, from eHarlequin.com:


by Megan Hart 

Twenty years ago she had her whole life spread out before her. She was Bess Walsh, a fresh-scrubbed, middle-class student ready to conquer the design world. And she was taken. Absolutely and completely. 
But not by Andy, her well-groomed, intellectual boyfriend who had hinted more than once about a ring. No. During that hot summer as a waitress and living on the beach, she met Nick, the moody, dark-haired, local bad boy. He was, to put it mildly, not someone she could take home to Daddy.
Instead, Nick became her dirty little secret— a fervent sexual accomplice who knew how to ignite an all-consuming obsession she had no idea she carried deep within her.

Bess had always wondered what happened to Nick after that summer, after their promise to meet again. And now, back at the beach house and taking a break from responsibility, from marriage, from life, she discovers his heartbreaking fate—and why he never came back for her. Suddenly Nick's name is on her lips…his hands on her thighsdark hair and eyes called back from the swirling gray of purgatory's depths.

Dead, alive, or something in between, they can't stop their hunger.

She wouldn't dare.

(my highlights)

Of course, not all romance writers adhere to this particular philosophy. Take this, er, confident woman from AllExperts.com, in response to an inquiry about what sort of language should be used in in writing this sort of book:

"Personally, I'm not a fan of the flowery filler-words used in older romance novels. I'd rather them just get straight to the point with the real word."

Well, okay then.

(image via eHarlequin.com)


  1. thanks for outshining me on my own blog, bitch.

  2. Unfortunately for me, Walmart doesn't even carry my book.

    I could probably list the page numbers where I used the word quivering though...


  3. Haha. Sorry mMm... hope this wasn't offensive! It's all in good fun.

  4. No worries. Maybe you'll give the book a try and be pleasantly surprised... ;)

    And Walmart really doesn't carry it!

  5. It does sound intriguing. And while this blog is technically centered around Walmart-carried novels, I'm just guest blogging here, so I really can bend the rules a bit...

  6. Reese, I'll send you one. All I ask is that you give it an honest chance and if you like it, you tell a lot of people to buy it. Send your mailing address to me at readinbed@gmail.com and I'll send you a book.